Some of your are confused right now.
“Didn’t you post on Facebook explaining how you felt God telling you to stay home instead of going.” Absolutely.
“Didn’t you spend part of that week commenting on people pictures and texting your friends saying you wished you were there.” Guilty.
So why am I writing a wrap up post for a conference I didn’t attend? That’s a great question…and I wish I had a great answer.
Ever since I decided (reluctantly) not to go, I have been trying to figure out what God had in mind for me. I spent a lot of time last week asking God “Why am I still here?”. Why am I not around my friends and my family of writers? Why am I missing out on a chance to get some face time with agents and editors and other industry folks? Why don’t I get a chance to get away from the junk of life for a week and just live in the awesome fantasy world where everyone likes to create stories with their brain?
A few answers came to mind. It is a busy season with my “real job” right now and it’d but my boss in a major pinch to abscond to Texas for a week. I’m certain that some of it was God simply reminding me that this desire in my heart to tell stories was originally His idea, not mine, and that ultimately my writing career will unfold on His time table, not mine. And on some level, I’m sure that part of it was just God testing me to obey in sacrificing something I really really (really) care about, even when I don’t fully know why.
But in the end…I still don’t get it.
There’s been no silver bullet answer. No “Full House” moment where God sits me down on the couch and say “Well Andrew, the reason you didn’t get to go to Dallas is…” I’m just here, resigned to the fact that, like so many things this side of Heaven, I may not know what God, in His sovereignty, was (or wasn’t) up to.
So I get back to it. Plugging away at revisions on my novel. Fine tuning my short stories. Working hard with a launch team for an upcoming novel (some of which you’ll be seeing on this blog). All the while confidant that God, who called me to tell stories, will has my best interests in mind will ultimately work things out.